I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
