i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
