Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
