She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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