so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
my liver is dry heaving
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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