are you still at the devil's house?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
