So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I could make wine with my vomit
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
