and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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