"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
