I hope mine doesn't look like that
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
