We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
