I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
