Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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