Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
