Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
