yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
