I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
