Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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