I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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