there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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