I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
