Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
