Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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