So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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