I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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