Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
