he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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