I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
