hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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