is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
