there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
