Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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