Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
