More tranny stories later!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
