Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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