ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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