Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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