i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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