P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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