is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
