i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
