i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
