That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
