You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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