i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
