Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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