Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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