If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
