Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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