I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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