I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize