I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize