how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
