This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
