My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
