to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
