omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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