Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
