It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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