I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I am naked and annoyed.
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