What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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