69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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