Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm too high and old for this...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
