you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
