I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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