Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
