In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
