How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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