just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You took a bar mat shot.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize