Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
